Ayahuasca Diaries 3: My calling is...ཚུལ་ཁྲིམས་འོད་ཝོདེན་མ།

I set a strong intention before the ceremony that I wanted to be shown my calling. During the night ceremony, in the midst of crazy visions, my dharma name came floating up to me. When I took refuge at Shangpa Kangyu’s dharma center in Vancouver, Canada, back in 2016, I was given the dharma name: Tsultrim Odenma. Which means “Mother of Full Light”.

But how? How do I become the mother of full light? I asked out loud into the darkness. It felt too great of a responsibility for me to take and I’m scared I’m not up to the task. I feel like I can barely save myself at the moment.  I ain’t no avalokiteshvara, I ain’t no Dailai Lama. I’m just a mortal who’s still trying to find and see the light.  So what are you saying mother ayahuasca? That I must step into my greatness?

On the second day, during the day ceremony, one of the guardians sat across from me at the altar. In front of her was Archangel Michael, in front of me was Buddha Shakyamuni. She approached me afterwards and shared with me that she saw my heart receiving the divine light and then multiplied infinitely outwards in fractal pattern that resembled the : “Flower of life”. So I thought to myself: if others can clearly see it, this is my gift, my worth, my power to embody “Mother of full light”.

Truth is, we must get out of here. The matrix reincarnation loop system. Very few of us are aware of the truth, brave enough to seek the truth, brave enough to drink ayahuasca.  While the majority of the world looks at us, and does not understand us, they are scared of facing ego death, scared of doing the work. 

Calling all light-workers, Calling all starseeds, and Calling all unicorns out there, we need to come together. Please reach out to me and help me so I can serve all sentient beings with my “ full light”. 

~ Tsultrim Odenma ཝོདེནམ (aka. Elsi Eng)
By this merit may all attain omniscience.
May it defeat the enemy, wrongdoing.
From the stormy waves of birth, old age, sickness and death;
From the ocean of samsara, may I free all beings!